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Eve of time

Here we sit on the eve of a new decade. 2010. Is it Two-Thousand Ten? Or Twenty-Ten? The Tens?

Or how does one quantify the past decade? For me, this will be the third instance time has rolled in quantities of tens. The first marked turn of a decade I was in Second grade; the next, I was on the eve of graduating from High School. The year 2000. Y2K- the future was upon us and I was an integral part of the class paving the way into the new Millennium. There was the worldwide fear when the clock struck 12 midnight and we passed into the era of 2000, everything would change. Financial meltdown, computer failure, people stockpiled food and water. Essentially, well… the world as we knew it would never be the same. That was far truer than we could have known. And through all that, what happened? Nothing. Life carried us onward.

Yet for some of us the clock striking twelve and the year changing meant permanent change. It rang in a whole new world begging our participation. I left home. I stepped out into a new realm of experiences and people knowing I could never go back. I met Matt that Fall. I met Jesus the Fall after that. Yes, I could never go back. Nor would I want to.

So now what? How contrarily different the Eve of this bout of time is. I find myself standing in a place 10 years ago I could never, ever imagine. I have three kids. THREE. I have a husband, given to me for him to love me, serve me, protect me; in turn for me to help and love him, all the while being changed through the brokenness prone to all relationships. I have received grace upon grace I can but barely even explain. I have struggles that run so deep and painful I had previously been so oblivious to. I have the utter sustenance, power and solid rock upon which I stand, persistence to be unwavering in the face of whatever time and life can throw, a secure salvation and everything I need for a life in pursuit of more of Jesus Christ. I am utterly content in the knowledge my life is not my own. 10 years ago, that would have been utter crazy talk.

Here I find myself, trying to reflect, But there is too much. Therefore, in no particular order, 10 things from the past year for Twenty-Ten:

1.) I have better learned my limits.

2.) My girls have become incredible friends.

3.) Matt and I are about to celebrate 7 years of marriage.

4.) I said NO to some opportunities for the sake of my family and don’t regret it.

5.) I started a business, the ball is rolling and gradually has been picking up speed. As we enter this new year, is really moving somewhere, which fills me simultaneously with excitement and trepidation.

6.) I live each day in this constantly messy, untidy, never completely pulled together, disorganized, constantly on the brink of change, often loud and prone to chaos, sometimes peaceful home. But it’s our home, and I’ve come to truly love it.

7.) I talked to and spent time with old, current and new friends much less than I have wanted to.

8.) I’ve made some huge changes in how I manage my household yet am all the more aware of the transformation that still needs to happen.

9.) I continue to learn humility.

10.) I have fallen more in love Matt than I ever have been and I have fallen even more infinitely in love with Jesus than I ever have.

10 year ago this week…our lives changed forever. Because of it I am blessed beyond belief.

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